From 1 to 2, things to know

Recently my wife gave birth to our second child and first son, an exiting event in the life of any individual. What I have realized in these last three weeks are some of the differences between having a single child and having two children. What could I possibly know in three weeks? Not much, but some thing that I wish I knew before my son was born.

Night Time

One child: a hard night can be remedied by transitioning night time to last from 10:00 pm until noon the next day, for what difference does it make to someone who cannot even focus on their own two hands?

Two children: a hard night can only be remedied if you do not have another for a full week, as your older child still wakes at 6:00 am regardless of your not getting to sleep until 4:00 am.

Feeding

One child: feeding is fun and exiting, a pleasure that you enjoy for 30 minutes 5 times a day. Yes, a full two hours of just watching them eat and trying to get them to burp; a simple sacrifice when you have nothing else to do.

Two children: you start eating their food to make sure that you do not miss feedings. You might think that two kids means 5 hours of feeding but it is more like 6 hours and that along with the trying to sleep and keep your house together add up to more time then you even have awake.

House Cleaning

One child: at first there is nothing to do as they do not move and all you have is to take out a trash a little more often. Even when they start making a mess you can clean up when they take naps before you take your own.

Two children: have you ever been invited to the house of some one with two kids? There is a reason, something has to give and house cleaning, for as fun as it is, usually gives first. At least for the first few months until it can be determined how the children can help...yeah.

Respect for the Wife

One child: I appreciated her trust that I would bring home money for the family and her willingness to do errands that had to be done in the time that I had to work or be at school. I loved her determination and drive.

Two children: I worship her. I beg her not to leave me alone with both kids and kiss her everyday and tell her how good she is doing, regardless of the state of the house because I recognize how much better than me she is doing and I pray that I can always provide for her and the kids. Babe, I cannot do what you do. Thank you. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help. Know that I love you and pray I am found worthy of your love in return.

Umm...

Did you every think that ... umm, you would ever try to ... umm ... What?!? Get it out already! Teaching in an IT Training group, I hear people present all the time and constantly correct people about over using filler words like umm and ah along with other nonsense, extra noises. Today after a practice teaching session with some of the newer employees, a group of us discussed the new employees' ability to avoid such distracting sounds. We were exited about how well they had done and complemented them on only using fillers once or twice. What caught my attention was theat the other employee that was evaluating with me, while presenting her critique, she said "umm" on six occasions in all of maybe 5 minutes. Oh that I could say that I am any better. Please if I start talking like that around you, correct me so that I do not get into the habit.

One year old privacy

What is privacy in the life of a one year old child? When everyday you change your clothes in public at least twice and have your diaper changed by any willing (and often not as willing) individual that gets stuck with the short straw; an experience that happens multiple times everyday. What is privacy? My seventeen month old daughter knocks on the door constantly and wants you to open it so you can make noises back an forth as a form of chatting, regardless of your reason for being in there. She has learned that mom will show her tummy (brother inside) if she pulls on her shirt while she is laying down and so pulls mom's shirt up when we are visiting with family, friends and even strangers much to the distress of my wife. Recognizing the difference between men and women (most days), my daughter will leave male visitors alone but on many occasions has attempted and even succeeded in lifting other women's shirts while they lay relaxing as we all talk together. I dare not ask what do they think we are teaching our child?

What is privacy to a one year old child? An explanation of why we stifle exploration and discovery. A means to slow down their learning and experiencing the world. So protect yourself, my daughter is learning and hopefully someday will understand that privacy is more important than discovery at times but for now she is still exploring and evaluating that point on her own.

Sabbath Day

Today as I sat in the congregation listening to person after person bearing their testimonies about Christ and the work of Christians, I was distracted by a comment that I can not now remember that made me start thinking about the Sabbath. It might have been my weekly need to write something down during Sacrament meeting that first urged me to pick up pen and paper but it was not my usual drawing of plots schemes and character profiles that engaged my mind and which I am sorry to say have done so often during Church meetings in the not so distant past.

I returned to a conversation that I was part of last Wednesday. While I sat in class that morning,we talked about Christ's resurrection and how it had happened on the first day of the week, a thing I had know well before then. The teacher made what seemed a very simple point of how, ever since that day, the Church had met on Sunday instead of the traditional Saturday (which, ironically, does not seem traditional anymore). That is as deep as I remember that section of our conversation going but it must have struck a chord within my soul because it quickly surfaced in my mind. Why did the Sabbath change from Saturday to Sunday? Well, Christ had risen from the dead after three nights in the tomb which fulfilled prophecy about the Messiah. If I had spend more of my Sunday writing pondering the real world and religion this might have started a great thought but thankfully the Lord is patient and gave me another shot at getting its importance.

I continued unaware; Lazarus had risen after four days, that was longer then Christ's three (Granted, Lazarus had come back because of Christ's power and not his own) but why do we not celebrate that day? There had to be something more (that may seem obvious with Christ being the Son of God and Lazarus a son of God's but I was trying to straighten things out clearly and the obvious had to be explored). What could it be? Then my thoughts turned to what Christ had done in resurrecting that Lazarus had not done in his coming back to life (for it was not really a resurrection, but rather a restoring to it original form; the resurrection goes farther than that). It was then that I had the insight that I should have realized earlier: Christ on that first day of the week had completed the Atonement that He had come into the world to perform.

Christ, the Son of God, had done something so much more important for the children of men then finishing the creation of the earth; He had that morning made the creation valid as the start of a means to bring the souls of heaven to redemption. He had fulfilled the purpose of the seventh day Sabbath and in so doing had created a new holy day, a new Sabbath, Sunday.

Well that was enlightening to me and so I labored the topic more to see what else I could learn by seeking to follow the trail of my thoughts. Alas, I had come to a new level of understanding the Sabbath and with that came a stark realization; if Sunday is a day to celebrate Christ's victory in completing a perfect Atonement, how does my celebration hold up to what it should be?

I thought of all the work that I accomplish with a four hour work day and how well documented it is, could I give any such rendering for my Sabbath Day worship? "Well, how long is the Sabboth?" I started. "One day...24 hours...24 hours!?!" Now I knew I was in trouble. I had 24 hours: 8 for sleeping, 3 for church, maybe 30 minutes for traveling to church, another 30 minutes on a good scripture reading day...I still had 12 hours. Could I include meals...meals start with prayers...

Some where in the calculations I realized that it is not mathematical; nothing in the Lord's teachings is. Had not Peter asked about forgiving his brother and received that answer already? It is not outward observances of numerical calculations (2000 cubits that I can travel) that matter even if those can help me know what the Lord is looking for (if that one would ever do that). Had I been truly focused on Christ all during the three hours of Church? Did I really take time to understand what I was reading in those thirty minutes? Had I taken advantage of the rides to and from Church to strengthen my family?

Had I put into practice what Christ taught? Had I shown true devotion to what He did for me?

I had not; I need His help. My plea is that He will grant me strength and challenge enough to teach me and strengthen me. Though I felt beaten and broken, I know that is not His true purpose. He had shown he my weakness to make me humble that these weak things may become strong unto me through Him (Ether 12:27). I thank the Lord, Christ, for his sacrifice. In the future, I hope that I can make of His victory a proper ceremony and celebrate with other who love Him and all that he gave us. It is not just a memorial during the sacrament but for the whole day; the day of rest, the day of love, the day of victory.